Monday Musings December 20, 2021

As the year winds down, I find myself thinking a lot about endings and beginnings. Obviously, 2021 is coming to an end, and while we all had high hopes that it would be a better year than 2020, it was just as challenging for my family personally. Not that there weren’t many wonderful things that happened in 2021, but the shitty stuff was pretty shitty. Ever an eternal optimist, I look to the coming year with gratitude and hope. I know there will be challenges, and things often change in an instant, but all the more reason to be grateful for the here and now, and for the time with which we are gifted.

At the end of every year, I also take inventory of my personal and professional life. I ask myself if I am focused on the things that are most important to me, and if I’m spending my precious time on my priorities. If not, it feels like a natural time to make a change. To that end, I’ve decided to step away from Inkitt, the publishing company where I work in several capacities. The projects have been gratifying and interesting, and the people wonderful, but lately it’s been taking too much time away from my own writing. At some point the balance shifted, and I need to shift it back.

The thing about endings though, is that they make space for beginnings. I have a lot I’d like to accomplish professionally this year, and I am clearing the space to do just that. I’m still in the middle of my reflective process, but this is one step I’ve already taken to realign my priorities. I’ll let you know what else I come up with.

Everything has seasons, and we have to be able to recognize when something's time has passed and be able to move into the next season. Everything that is alive requires pruning as well, which is a great metaphor for endings. - Henry Cloud

Wishing you all peaceful endings and joyful beginnings this holiday season.

Monday Musings 12-21-20

The end of 2020 is almost here, and most of us are really looking forward to turning the page on our calendars! The human race has collectively had a rough go of it in 2020. Every year, most of us look back and take stock, maybe reassess, and then set our intentions for the coming year. For me, the new year usually represents all kinds of potential. I like to stand in the beginning of it and imagine all I can accomplish in the coming months. But this year, it feels more like a celebration of endings.

My different mindset this year got me thinking about endings, and the fact that sometimes we aren’t aware that we’ve just experienced something for the last time, or said goodbye to someone for the last time. This has happened often in my life, especially with regards to raising children. I don’t know the exact last time we read a bedtime story, only that one day, it wasn’t part of our bedtime routine anymore. I can’t recall the last time I pushed a little body on a swing, or buckled someone into a carseat. These things just ended, quietly and without fanfare.

My third son is a senior in high school. He was an multi-season athlete and sang in the high school choir. I’ll admit, sometimes I didn’t feel like attending one more concert or one more sports award ceremony, but without realizing it, I’d already attended the last one. The pandemic didn’t allow for all the ‘last things’ we’d planned on.

Last year, Ray and I were together with all our children for the holidays. This year, we won’t be. Hopefully, we’ll have them all together again in the near future, but most of the kids are adults now, with their own lives and schedules, so we really don’t know when it will be. Last Christmas, we had no idea that it might literally be years before we’d all be together again.

Many things during this strange timeline have only taken a hiatus, they aren’t over for good. I fully expect to attend a live concert, travel for book signings, visit family, and celebrate special occasions together with my children again. But living through this pandemic has made me pause and consider how I might approach an experience differently if I knew it was the last time.

Maybe there is a gift buried amidst the angst and loss we’ve collectively endured this year. Maybe we will savor the sweetness of simple things. Maybe we will love more unreservedly. Maybe, because we’ve deeply felt how fragile life can be, we will live more fully in each moment.

“What day is it?” asked Pooh.
“It’s today,” squeaked Piglet.
“My favorite day,” said Pooh.”
― A.A. Milne

Wishing you all happy holidays, and a new year filled with hope, joy, and love.

Monday Musings 6-17-19

One of my kids didn’t have the best school year this year. He injured himself during the first practice of his varsity football season, struggled through a couple of classes, and topped it off by getting into his first fender-bender during exam week. Sometimes, a year just needs to come to an end!

I released my third novel this year - the end of the series. I look back on the entire project with a sense of satisfaction and learning. That ending was worth celebrating.

At some point, life will bring us to our knees - whether physically or emotionally. We’ll survive those moments and be grateful when they come to an end. Some endings will be joyful. Others will be bittersweet. In any case, endings provide us with an opportunity for a clean slate. Whether we’ve learned something, accomplished something, or actually survived something, endings grant us the freedom to let go.

“Holding on is believing that there’s only a past; letting go is knowing that there’s a future.” - Daphne Rose Kingma

Monday Musings 2-25-19

Equinox is finished! It’s a strange feeling indeed to have completed the last book in this series, a series I’ve been working on for over six years. I’ve lived in this made-up world, fallen in love with the characters, put them through some tough stuff, and now it’s time to say goodbye. It’s bittersweet, but it’s time.

As I get older, I’ve experienced moving on in many areas of my life. From changing jobs, to moving houses, to watching kids go off to college, letting go is part of the deal, and sometimes knowing when to let go is the trick.

My style, with writing, with the other work I’ve done over the years, with my home life, is to fully invest. I throw my whole self into the experience. I’m all in. I make mistakes, I learn, I grow. But because I’ve given it my full attention, when it’s time to move on, I usually feel ready. I may be nostalgic, but generally, I don’t have regrets.

When I typed “the end” on the last page, it was with a little bit of sadness but also a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. I’ve worked hard to improve my craft over these last six years. I’ve learned a ton about the publishing industry. I’ve been invited to teach what I’ve learned. Most importantly, with these books, I think I’ve told a good story.

Equinox will release on May 7th. I hope you enjoy!